conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
