I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
