i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
