the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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