her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
