some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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