Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
