My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
