He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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