This is not my ceiling
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
