found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
