I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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