why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
