i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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