...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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