So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
