ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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