Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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