Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
