I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
