No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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