I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
