i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
