I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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