Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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