last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
