Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
