i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
