Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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