the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
