just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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