half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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