I think I won the penis lottery.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize