Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
