so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
