cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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