Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
