'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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