I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i think i have herpe
just one?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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