i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
