You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Acid is not a monday night drug
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
