i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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