mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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