Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
