Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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