physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize