I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
