xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you win again, gameday.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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