mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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