Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
