it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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