I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
