i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
