i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
