I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
