Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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