is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
