I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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