she was so not down for the gang bang
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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