well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
