I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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