No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
