I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
