Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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