When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
