Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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