Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
