Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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