The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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