PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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