Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
