So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
