So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
